The 'DVD' Party
The Big Clean Up – ‘Pretty Little Maids are We’
Paddy and the Professor were summoned early as Andy needed some cleaning done prior to everyone’s arrival. The boys got straight to work… tidying, cleaning, and sorting out the dead plants! Mark and Andy were upstairs while Paddy was in charge of downstairs. This worked well for the upstairs boys but poor Paddy had to make many trips up the stairs too as the boys were constantly calling out… can you bring us up the hoover, can you bring us up some cloths etc. Paddy’s reply was the usual Desertmartin expletive! Extra points for Mark if he can name the Show the song in the title is from??
The Guests start to Arrive
Shortly after eight, The PM and Mary M arrived. Andy was still in his cleaning gear at this time but got hastily changed into something more comfortable. Just after that, the Bangor contingent arrived and a bit after that was Kim and Niall.
Wendy and Tori’s arrival
Time was marching on and everyone was wondering where Wendy and Tori were. Around ten thirty the girls arrived. We think Tori had been to a party already as she was very merry indeed. Wendy had been driving but managed to catch up in the alcohol stakes within half an hour!
Curry Anyone? – it just gets Hotter and Hotter
Mary M was on cookery duty at this stage making a chicken curry and chips. Mr P was doing the official tasting and every time that Mary M offered him some, he just said… make it hotter!! That is how the Professor likes it! The curry that is! Food was eventually served and one and all thought it was great.
Andy’s Jumper
We don’t know whether it was because of the amount of drink that had been taken but a while later Andy arrived back in the room with a new sweater on. When asked why he had changed he replied that he had spilled curry all over the other one!
Birthday Girl
Although not quite the official date, it was Rachel’s unofficial Birthday Party. The usual ‘Happy Birthday’ was sung and she was given her presents… a pink toy car and a cake. Paddy and Mark had selected the cake personally… it was a pair of boobs encased in a black bra made from icing. Paddy had wanted to take the bra off all night just to see what was underneath!
Mark and Tori re-enact their Big Scene
Mark and Tori then decided to re-enact their big scene from the Panto. When we say ‘big scene’ we think the Professor had 2 lines!!! But then that is a lot for him to remember!!! The scene became more and more raunchy as more and more alcohol was consumed. Pictures are coming to the website soon!!!
The Boxing Match
After their drama masterclass Mark and Tori then decided to have a boxing match. Mark should have known better after Tori’s knockout performance against Andy at a previous party!! It was all square after the first couple of rounds but then Tori produced her big finish. We could say that she is a bit of a handful but in this case she got more than a handful! Another win to Tori!!
Cola Shots
By this stage another round of Cola Shots was being produced by Andy. If you have ever seen a shot measure in a pub then multiply that by about 3 and you will get an idea of the measures. Everyone loved the shots but 1 never mind 3 would have been enough for anyone!
Did we Watch the DVD?
Yes we did… well sort of. After starting to play the
DVD a few retired to the kitchen for more beer. The
DVD lasts 2 hours so eventually it was decided just to fast forward to the good bits!
Mark and Tori practice Lifts
Mark and Tori were at it again. This time practicing dance lifts. Mark could not get the hang of one of the lifts as he always had his hands on Tori’s thighs rather than her stomach. But maybe that was his evil plan! How nothing got broken is beyond the Writing Team as Pin Wheels and Walk Overs were being performed in Andy’s Living Room. Once or twice the ceiling light was nearly hit.
Mark’s Comfortable Slippers
After that Mark retired to the kitchen. In search of comfortable slippers we can only presume. And lo and behold his slippers were waiting in the kitchen!!
Paddy’s (or should we say Billy’s) Taxi
Paddy had to be up early the next morning as he was off to Prague with Wee Matt for a few days. He needed to get a taxi around half six to take him to the airport. Andy phoned the local taxi company to book one and was able to get ring back for Paddy in case he fell asleep. Andy did mention that if the taxi driver asked his name then it was Billy rather than Paddy! Well it was Carrick!
Don’t I Look Cute
Tori, meanwhile, exhausted from boxing and lifts had decided to go off to bed. But not before telling everyone to look in on her if they were going to the bathroom. All they had to say when they saw her was ‘Don’t you look cute’.
Bed Hopping
Niall never seems to have much luck at Andy’s parties. For the second time in a row he was asleep in a comfy bed when he was asked to leave by someone else wanting the bed! Good soldier that he is, Niall duly obliged and just found another bed to go to. We are not sure if the occupant of the new bed welcomed his arrival!
Andy’s Hearth
It was now very late and Andy was fast asleep on the floor. He never gets a bed! At one point he rolled onto the hearth and this seemed to be more comfortable for him.
Paddy’s Departure – good to see everyone still up to give him a big send off!
The taxi duly called Paddy to make sure he was up and alive. The taxi then arrived and it was sad to see practically no-one there to send him off! Well… there was Karen!
Who is Sleeping with Who? – The PM and Toby?
The PM had been asleep on the settee for a while but decided it was time to find somewhere more comfortable. The only vacancy was beside Niall as the previous occupant had got back up again. So is a case of needs must the PM (fully clothed) slept on the edge of the bed.
Up Bright and Early – Andy and Karen
Next morning it was Andy and Karen who were first up. This seems to be the usual state of affairs at parties. Coffee anyone? Nope… Karen was on the WKD while Andy had some Guinness!!
The PM’s Shoes
The PM surfaced about 11 and when he entered the living room he saw one of his shoes at the end of the room. He then set about looking for the other one. He asked Andy had he seen it? ‘Oh Dear… is that yours’ he replied. ‘We thought it was Mark’s’. The shoe was in the freezer filled with water!!! Luckily it had not been in long enough to freeze. Everyone thought this was very funny… except the PM!
The Gay Musical – JCS
Later on it was decided to watch Jesus Christ Superstar. ‘That is such a gay musical’ said Mark. ‘Nobody talks in it!’ He thought the disciples were very strange looking in their leather outfits. But we think not as gay as Mark’s dressing up and make-up nights!
Black Fry
By now the PM had gone home and a fry was being cooked. Apparently this was not such a great success as everything was burnt black… including the eggs. Oh how Mummy was sooo missed!
Fun in the Fun Bus
At around 6 Andy decided to leave all the stragglers home. Wisely he had stayed off the Guinness for a good number of hours. The Fun Bus was duly powered up and took all home.
The PM gets Wakened – Any Tay in here?
Around 7.15 (with the PM fast asleep on the settee) a knock came to the door of No. 10. It was Mark and Andy. All Mark wanted was some Tay!
And so, another memorable night was over. As usual, too much drink and too late an hour. But great craic none the less.
Monday
Small Committee Meeting
Only David, Les and Billy managed to make it to the mini committee meeting. This was just a get together to check that everything was on track. David was happy enough… especially as he was off to South Africa that week for a bit of a holiday! Andy arrived later on for a pint and recounted the lost articles of clothing from the house… a fleece, a necklace and a pair of trainers that the PM had worn to go home in!
Tuesday
Tuesday was Principals with Peter
Which Room are we In?
The PM arrived to open up the Hall only to find that the Scouts were in the room we had booked. The Scout Master was not very accommodating as he said ‘We are always in those rooms on a Tuesday’. So much for having a room booked. Luckily the Piano Room was free and that was sufficient for a Principal Rehearsal. It would have been a complete waste of a night if it had been a chorus rehearsal.
Fiona’s 15 minutes
Nearly all the principals were there and the rehearsal lasted until around half ten. Fiona was a bit luckier, however, as she was in and away in about 15 minutes flat. And off script too!
Ken’s Valentine Present
Doc had a Valentine present from Kerri. Accidental of course. Kerri was bending over and did not realise that Ken was sitting on the floor. You can imagine the scene… her derriere right in front of his face. When she realised this she gave it a bit of a wiggle! Ken was very pleased indeed!
Victor Looks the Part
Victor was at the rehearsal sporting a beard. We are not sure if this is for his appearance in ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ or for his role as ‘Henry Miller’ in Calamity. But very distinguished he looked!
The Snake gets Rattleing!
Ande Gray was all fired up for his big role as Rattlesnake. When Ande and the PM counted up his lines they reckoned it came to about four! The Writing Team thinks that with only 4 lines he is bound to get his accent right!!!
Francis and Susan Practice their Dance Number
As the evening was nearing an end, Francis and Susan went through their dance routine. All we can say Francis is eat more Weetabix!!!
Pub Chat – Champagne Anyone?
A small core went to the Pub including Peter, Andy, Les, Kerri and Heather. Peter chatted to the girls while Les and Andy talked about the Show. They only overheard bits of the conversation but it seems it was about champagne and strawberries
Wednesday
Chorus with Peter
Wednesday was called for the chorus and the numbers that where covered included:
Keep it under your Hat – A Basque Dance?
This is one of the typical hats and legs kind of numbers that we all know from various concerts most of us had done previously. Peter mentioned that this will be danced in Basques which he has from one of his prior shows. No doubt the boys will love it!!!
Deadwood Stage/Windy City – Mark Finally gets out of the Lift
Next up was Deadwood Stage and Windy City. We have to mention at this point that reports reached the Writing Team that a certain male member of the cast after previous make-up episodes, who always tries his very best to avoid dancing, lifts and other movements had encountered an injury playing football to his ankle. The ankle was shown for proof and it was very blue/purple and green… no doubt all provided by his make- up kit!!! He finally managed to get himself out of the lifts in Windy City where our very gorgeous Ande stepped into the breech to save the day masterfully. He got the lift first time! Is that due to him being the proud owner of an Equity Card??? Did we mention that there is a Tap number in Windy City? Well finally some of the ‘Movers’ decided it was time to watch on rather than take part in this. So the Tap was left to the more capable dancers.
Careless with the Truth – It’s a Rollover
We moved onto Careless with the Truth which now has a twist to it… There is a part when we all stand in a line to be pushed over by Calamity in a Domino effect… but no, not for Andy… He decided to change his role to pushing the opposite way!!!
Can Can or Can’t Can’t?
Peter made all the girls do Cart Wheels to see who would be able or capable of being in the Can Can. Quite a few of the girls just replied… Oh no I can’t! And so did Mark??? During the setting of the number Kelly managed to rip her trousers in quite a delicate part when she was asked to show how she can hold one leg up high while hopping on the other. This was very funny indeed.
A very good and productive rehearsal with most of the girls being sore and tired at the end of it.
Of course we went onto the Pub across the road, and as it was Wednesday it was Quiz night. We decided on a Team Name in honour of Paddy and Matt being in Prague… as ‘My mate has gone to Prague and all he’s bringing back is the Clap’ As usual we started very well… but things went down the hill soon after… The first Music round… which is normally our strength went very badly, with the Professor arguing and blatantly disregarding his team members. Although one team member kept shouting OPM to every song that was played. Mark did redeem himself eventually when the question was asked about the Planets. He got that one right. The Writing Team did observe him studying a large Planet poster that was displayed in the rehearsal hall that night. There is also a poster in the Hall about ‘Beavers’ does he know anything about that?
Needless to say we did not win!!!
News from London reached the Pub with reports that Matt and Paddy who had by now reached London managed to win a Busking Competition, pocketing £100. The very same evening they where also refused entry to a Gay Bar… is this where they where gona spend their winnings?? We know from past experience that Wee Matt is quite partial to those venues!
Thursday
On we went to have a Chorus Music rehearsal with our Wilson. Unfortunately due to other commitments from the cast we had a smaller turnout than normal. Never the less the rehearsal was quality. Mary M managed to get promoted to the 1st Sopranos… that was a first!!! It made her day. The same can’t quite be said for the Professor. When it came to the male harmonies it transpired that he was the lone bass. When Wilson asked ‘Can you sing this?’ He replied ‘Yes but I can’t read music and will be off key.’ We proceeded to move on to the as Wilson calls it ‘Black Death of Dakota’ and after that the Finale. Karen was quite surprised that she had to sing some Solo lines in this.
We eventually moved next door into the big Hall where Helen kindly took over Dance rehearsals. We now call her ‘Little Voice’ as she doesn’t like shouting but is so musical. We went through all the numbers and she took some extra time to go over Keep it under your Hat as this had only been learned.
Of course the evening ended across the road!!!
Wilson and Andy treated everyone to some very funny Waterford stories, including Rodney falling into his soup face down, Eric Millar getting very cross when told to keep the noise down in the Munster. Apparently one of the companies performing where debuting their latest CD. The noise was reduced and then Eric took great pleasure in telling them that their
CD was S..t!!! Great to see Ande joining us for once!!! He had to leave early to meet Magz… when he left he produced a huge bottle of aftershave which he sprayed all over him to hide the pub smoke. This was followed by deodorant, anti perspirant, chewing gum and mints. We just hope he got the sort of night he was expecting!!
The evening ended with Andy making a To Do List for all Shannon Travellers… This included:
Mary M to organise directions
Wendy Wine and sandwiches or bacon sodas
Les bring beer
Mark in charge of Photography
Andy in charge of Fun Bus, Tunes, Cider and Sparkling Wine
So we all left in great anticipation of our next road trip for the Ulster on Tour!!
Shannon Trip
Saturday
Saturday started early Mary M ringing Andy to make sure he was up. This was around 6.30 am. Next up Andy texted the PM saying that the Fun Bus was ready for take off. The PM replied that he would make his way to the Departure Lounge. The Professor was also sent a text. His reply was… Bloody Hell it is still dark outside! Or words to that effect.
The PM was collected around 7.30pm. He was in his Reservoir Dogs sunglasses and declared that he was Mr. White. Mark was to be be Mr Blonde and surprise surprise Andy was to be Mr Pink!
Next up was Mr. Higgins who brought the sad news that ‘Zippy’ could not make it. After that Mary M was collected and then we went to the rendezvous with Wendy. This took place on the Newry Road near Banbridge. Wendy was dropped off by her Mum who proceeded to give Andy a hard time about his choice of parking venue! Apparently it is one of the most dangerous roads in the North!
And then we were off…
Highlights of the trip are as follows:
Mary M opening the cider at 9.00 am followed shortly by the PM indulging. The Professor could not hold out and shortly after cracked open a large bottle of vodka. Wendy and Andy were being sensible at this stage. Wendy lasted out till half ten and Andy till eleven!
During the journey Wendy stated that she was a bit uncomfortable. Something to do with a label rubbing against her. It transpired that the label was in her knickers so Mary M did the needful and got the scissors out to cut it off. Andy said that he thought she should take them off altogether. She would be more comfortable and he would relish the thought!
Wendy’s drugs… Wendy had come prepared. She had headache tablets, Milk Thistle (which is good to clean out the liver and probably needed on this trip), Sudafed to clear the sinuses and Dioralyte for re-hydration. We also think she may have had a Nurses outfit in her bag for good measure. Apparently she has a lovely bedside manner!
Usually on Road Trips the PM’s bladder is the first to go. But on this occasion Mary M was the first to call for a P Stop. Andy dutifully found a country lane off the beaten track. The PM and the Professor also jumped out. Mary M and the PM did not stand on ceremony and just had to go at the Farmer’s gate. The Professor meanwhile jumped the fence and went round behind some derelict buildings only to discover there some horses were occupying the buildings! He was not very happy at all… especially when he compared sizes!!! Much hilarity followed on from that with Mark on a roll about how Mary M was lucky not to get accosted by one of the stallions!
All the way down Mark was looking at the birds... magpies that is.. One for Sorrow, Two for Joy, Three for a Gril and Four for a Boy, Five for Sorrow, Six for Joy, Seven... for another Vodka for the Professor!
After that we made good time indeed and managed to make Shannon just in time for the second half of the match between Man U and Liverpool. When we arrived in the hotel who was sitting in the bar but Brian Power and his girlfriend. For those who don’t know Brian is a director/choreographer like Peter. By this stage the Professor was in full swing… well you would be after nearly a bottle of vodka. Mary M was very happy to see Brian’s brother Leonard also appear. They are great friends!
Mark also made a friend. A girl called 'Annette'. You know the sort of girl... she has a moustache!!!!
Mary M was feeling a bit tired at this point so she decided to have a little livener. Tequila shots were in order. As usual the Professor was part of the experiment!
The day went by so quickly and all of a sudden it was 6 pm and we had a show to go to. Mary M, Wendy and the PM went to their rooms to get ready as the taxis were booked for 7.15 pm.
The PM arrived down stairs at ten to seven all showered, dressed and ready to go just in time to see Mark and Andy about to go upstairs to get ready! Something to do with ‘C..k S..king Cowboys? We are not sure if this is a drink or a role that Mark wants to play in a Musical?
The PM was getting anxious as the taxis would be arriving soon. While the boys were changing, Mary M was doing the straightner thing with Wendy’s hair… yes she had packed those too!
And then it was off to see ‘The Wiz’
Everyone was disappointed that there was no bar facilities but in hindsight that was probably a good thing. The Professor was by now quite loud and everyone was concerned that if the show was not good then he might just shout that out.
But we need not have worried… the Show was Amazing!!! We all loved it. We know now why Cherelle raves about it! It was so good that we are maybe thinking of it for our Summer Show!!!
Mark was especially enthused about the Costume!! Especially the girl in Pink! Ok lets face it... all the female chorus!!!!
After the Show it was on to the ‘After Show Party’. Taxis were thin on the ground so it took us a while to get there. Andy and the PM waited behind for the second taxi which arrived 15 minutes after the one that Mary M, Wendy and the Professor took but somehow managed to arrive only minutes after them. This was something to do with a stop off at the Drinklink for the Professor. We understand that this was a bit of a trauma!! He asked for 100… it said no. He asked for 80… it said no. He asked for 50… it said no. He eventually managed to pull out 20 and he said f...k it!
When Andy and the PM arrived at the ‘After Show’ they were greeted by the lovely Anne Marie Fox. ‘Ten Euros each’ she said. ‘What?’ said Andy. ‘Don’t worry Andy’ she said… ‘There is loads of food and a Disco’ So the boys paid there money and went happily up the stairs to the party.
The party was in full swing but there were no seats to be had. Apparently there was also a 60th birthday also in the room… boy did they get a shock at around 11pm when the Show Crowd descended on them!
More drink was taken of course and then it was time to go and get some food. The PM and Wendy made their way to the serving tables only to discover there was very little left. Andy was not impressed and collared the lovely Anne Marie to tell her. She left very hurriedly but a few moments later Bregeen (wee Helen’s cousin) brought over some chicken bits for Andy.
Thankfully Wendy had some chicken too. Earlier in the day she had been biting on Andy's arm so she must have been hungry! Soon after that Anne Marie arrived back with some sweets for Andy from her personal collection. He was privileged indeed.
Mark got to meet some of the Shannon cast including the very lovely Joanne who was wearing a rather challenging pin striped number... all he could manage to say was... Big Blue TaTa's...
Mr Fox, (Aidon.. sorry cant do those funny accent things!) who was brilliant as (‘The Scarecrow’) then arrived over and was most upset that he could not share her sweets but Andy could!! We all had a laugh about Rodney’s ‘Billy’ story from Waterford. If you have been reading the Diary then you will know that one!
At this point the Professor was obsessed with getting a picture of him and the ‘Tin Man’ Is the Professor a ‘Show Luvvie’ or what?? But before that was the AC/DC number with the Prof standing on a chair trying to take pictures. The funniest bit was the Prof trying to get off the chair!
Shannon as well as we, do a ‘Shames Award’ Ceremony… this went down a treat with the members of the company while we now managed to find some seats which where a bit out of the way but never less most welcomed by the older members of the party. The Professor still wanted his Tin Man picture, so him and Andy went on a Hunt… They arrived back very happy indeed as he managed to get his picture taken with the Tin Man, The Lion and the Scare Crow. All we can say at this point is… He is a true converted Luvvie !!!
And the it was Taxi time… this took some organising as we weren’t locals Mary M had to use all her charms to get us home. She managed to get the mobile number of the Taxi driver taking us down. His name was Richard and he was most helpful in pointing you in the right direction. He was not able to pick us up but past on various numbers of other taxi firms. Eventually we managed to book a Mini Bus which was perfect to take all of us in one go.
By then end of the evening the Professor was professing... no more back row chorus for me. I want a principal part next time! The questions the Writing Team would ask are... can you sing? can you dance? can you act? We think the Prof might be a dark horse in all these matters!
The Prof climbed/stumbled/jumped?? Into the taxi and sat with his back facing the window. This was grand until a sharp corner was taken and he at this point had been complaining about a sore head due to earlier consumption of Vodka. His head was even sorer when it bounced of the window pretty hard. The conversation then turned to ‘Flux Capacitators’ this is from ‘Back to the Future’ we think at this point that the Professor was well and truly flying!!!
And then it was off too bed…
Mary M and the Pm went to their rooms while in the meantime Andy, Wendy and Mark decided to party on... well for a little bit! Sandwiches and Wine and Vodka were brought from the Fun Bus but by the time they arrived Andy was doing the hearth thing! This time he had a comfortable bed though! Mark managed to pin the ten glass and then it was time for Wendy to go to bed. Mark offered to carry her bag up to her room but somehow got locked out of his room!!!
All we can say at this point is Comfortable Slippers!!!
Next Morning/Lunchtime
Check out was at 12 and everyone just about made it. Usually return journeys are a sober and quiet affair….ohhh no not this one!!!
A few beers later we decided it was time to hit the road. The PM by this stage was in full swing to keep the craic going with various questionnaire games. But not before a P Stop… 15 mins into the journey!!!
The Prof was unusally quiet on the return journey. We are not sure if this was hangover kicking in or new alcohol just starting!
We all appreciated the sandwiches Wendy had made, especially the cheese and mustard for Andy!
We stopped twice more… this time in more civil surroundings…we stopped in Pubs instead of Farmers fields.
Needless to say more drink was taken and we all landed home pretty merry and tired… driver excepted of course.
On that note we hope that more trippers join us in the future. We are thinking of designing UOC on Tour T Shirts (Pink of Course!) Want to wear one???
So that’s all for now… probably one of the longest diary entries we have produced. Because of that… and huge tiredness… the Podcast for this entry will be published at a later stage!!
So till next time
The Writing Team
Ulster Operatic Company
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